Feeling Guilty

Today is the 1st of September and I still have yet to find a job. Kids go back to school next week and here I am jobless....:(

I have applied to soooooooo many places included a load in Ohio...:) I am ready to relocate as long as they give me some compensation first to move down there and settle in. I'm ready to work...it's hard just sitting here all day.

Okay, so you're probably wondering why I titled my entry feeling guilty....well....it's because I did NOT go to the gym today to work out. First of all, I woke up at 1 pm. I have been doing that a lot lately....:( Then after waking up, I didn't have breakfast, I ate lunch. Then, I picked up Randy and we went desk shopping because of the computer I now have in my room. I picked up a desk, new mouse, new mousepad, a microphone, speakers, and a pencil holder all for around 100 bucks. It was such a productive day. I was so tired by the time we were done with our 5 hours of shopping that we ordered a pizza and called it a day. Eating wasnt' too bad though.

Here's what I had:

• Santa Fe Style Rice and Beans
• 1/3 of what was left of my chocolate chip and cherry cone dip blizzard
• 4 slices of pepperoni pizza

That's it.....

But I feel guilty because I SHOULD have worked out. I just have to realize that sometimes life gets in the way. I'm making small changes that add up to big successes every day. One day of not working out (besides all the walking I did) will not hurt me in the long run. All it means is that I have to push myself harder when I go on Wednesday and Friday.

However, my eating has got to get better. Today was because we were out and not at home. And that's another thing. I don't eat the same foods as my parents so I always eat something different. I don't eat with Randy because we don't live together and I love eating with him so we normally go out now. :( I love having dinner with him. I feel a sense of belonging and like being our little family when I'm with him. :)

I have my exercising down, now I need to get my food a little bit more handled. I love eating the things I like to eat so I'm going to portion even more by expanding my food and counting calories. My target range is to stick between 1400 and 1600 calories a day. I will track on my blog so if you return to view it, it'll be posted by nighttime. I'm looking forward to seeing more changes ahead.

I need to get my sleep pattern down too....that'll come with a job :)

Happy 4th!!!

Thank you Laura for the nice comment you left :) I'm glad you read my blog! :)

Okay, so diet news. I'm still tracking on this FatSecret.com, but I'm looking at the calorie intake rather than the points. So if I have 30 points a day, that's about 1500 calories a day and that's enough to make me lose 1 lb a week. The 30 Points a day is my 25 plus 5 out of the 35 weekly points I get. So either way, I'm golden.

I've been playing badminton all day pretty much so my arm is sore!! lol It hurts while typing lol.

Today's been fantastic with eating. Yesterday was great also. I think I'm doing okay so far....I mean it has been 8 weeks just about :) Yay!!!

Get Inside My Head

To the very few that read this, please read this post to get inside my head.

This past weekend camping trip was so much fun...it really was, but it's nothing like getting off track that makes me feel worst the most. I planned my meals for every day that weekend. I thought I did so good. Come to weigh in on Monday morning with a gain was just a blow to my overall confidence about my diet.

So what am I doing right this minute? I am re-watching Shanti's old videos because she is amazingly inspirational to me. I remember when her and I first started talking when she first joined YouTube. She's lost all her weight and got to goal, well her first goal. She did all of that by counting calories and exercising. She makes it look so easy.

It's hard when I see a gain on the scale after what I thought was a victorious weekend, food wise. If I'd have known I would have gained, then I should have actually eaten what I was craving. It's hard to not give in to temptation, it's hard to stay on track, and it's hard to do that while you are the only one dieting.

This blog is all over the place because that's where my head is at tonight.

I've been on Weight Watchers for almost 8 weeks now and look at my stats:

W1: 189 (-3.0)
W2: 186 (-3.0)
W3: 186 (maintained)
W4: 185.5 (-0.5)
W5: 186 (+0.5) (need to start losing here)
W6: 186 (maintained)
W7: 187 (+1.0) ugh..stupid camping lol

Wow.......I mean I'm happy that I've lost 5 lbs and have been able to keep it off, but this is clearly not working. I feel like I'm eating to maintain when in my head, I want to eat to LOSE!! It's not showing!

Where am I going from here? Not sure. I'm still going to post weigh ins on my page, but really what's the point?

Let's see if I can turn this week around? I might actually listen to Shanti's advice like I did last summer.....at least last summer I saw changes......

Camping Anyone?

I went camping this weekend with my fiance and our friend Randy. I had a great time there at Holly Recreation. The only downer was our SUNBURN!!!! Holy crap.......I can has sunburn bad!!!!

My face hurts, shoulders (extreme pain), and my back....(lil bit) it's all because we did not wear any sunscreen!!! So I guess we kinda deserved it. It still sucks. Saturday was the day we went to the beach.....Heron Beach. We spent hours in the water. We come back so burnt and when it was time to sleep.........we couldn't! If we laid on our backs, we would screech from the pain. Our sides were the same way. When I woke up, it hurt so bad from being dry!!! Randy was putting the Aloe After Sun Lotion on me and I almost threw up from the pain :(. It'll get to a tan soon though. I just feel bad because I can't shower yet lol. The water pressure will hurt too much :(.

A week from tomorrow is my first day of teaching :) I am sooooooooooooo excited to teach a class. I will be teaching 8th grade math for 20 days. I'm so excited. I'll be putting together my last minute plans this week and heading into my classroom to put up the finishing touches.

Diet news: This weekend went really well with WW. I do have to say that I was estimating my point values and I had the full 35 for the weekend to use up. Today, however, when I got home, I was hungry! It might be because of stress here at home...not sure. I ate and I hope I don't gain for tomorrow's weigh in. I feel really good about the weigh in too. We'll see. Wish me luck!

About 1 Month..

Ok so I've been doing Weight Watchers for a very good 6 weeks now, but I've been on plan for 5 of those weeks. I'm thankful for this way of eating because it truly shows weight loss. I weighed in this morning and I was 186.5 so the food I ate a lot of is coming off. This week's focus is on staying at my points and adding exercise to it.

My real struggle will come this weekend when I go camping!!!! I haven't been camping in years!!!!! I'm so excited....

So, I stumbled upon this really cool application that FaceBook has called MyDiet. It runs from this website and it's really cool. Let me tell you a little bit about it. The features are the same as any type of diet forum you probably have gone to. The real difference here was that it TRACKS WEIGHT WATCHER POINTS and calories!!! How great is that?! I've been trying to find a points tracker online website (free by the way) forever. It's really accurate too! I suggest you looking at it...you know you want to!

Blah

That's how I feel right about now...just blah. Since my journal focuses on my diet and what I do on an every day basis, I feel that I should talk about what's been going on with my diet.

I have been eating everything that is unhealthy for a person to eat. It's awful that I'm eating this way. I get a little bit of cash in my life and I spend it on food! ugh......

I've been off track for exactly one week. Is that the end of my diet?? NO! I'm getting back on track in the morning. I know I can do it and lose the weight. Weight Watchers was working so well...why did I get off track for a week? Oh ya, I was graduating and it was the end of the school year so a bunch of parties popped up. That's still no excuse!

Well, back on track in the morning and I'm really looking forward to it. I weighed this morning and it was 187 so I'm still hovering around 186 .........ugh.....time to lose!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Need to Get Back on Track

The last weekend of school has been horrible, eating wise. I graduated, had student's last day of school and plus my graduation party! Eating was horrible!!! I'm not even back on track today..ugh! Tomorrow is a clean slate and I'll get back on it. I feel weird not being on it though.

I need to make small changes to my lifestyle. I'm sick of diets and having them control my life.

Oh yea, I'm a teacher :) Feels so good!