Okay, so I started completely fresh on Wednesday of this week :) I didn't realize how tough getting back on track really is. With how many calories I ate yesterday and Wednesday, you'd think I'd want to quit by now...but NO, I'm not quitting. :)
Okay, Wednesday I had (and I had to work Wed, Thurs, and today) I had 1669 calories. :( Thursday, yesterday, I had 2029 calories....about my maintenance. So, looking back on that, I journal in my little book every day with my food log and I've come to the conclusion that I get really hungry late at night. Because my parents sleep right next to the kitchen, it's hard for me to sneak down and get food, yes I said sneak and there's a reason for that.
But anyways, it's very hard for me to get back on track considering I work 6 hours and It's usually during my lunch and dinner and ugh...I just have to plan better!! Today I work at 4-9:15 so I think I can plan my dinner much better lol.
The reason why I say it's hard to get back on track is because I'm too used to overeating that it's going to take me some time to get back down to my "weight loss" calories. I'm trying though, I really am, but I am not giving up this time. I know it'll get easier, it just gets harder before it gets easier lol.
Hope you all are having a great week!!
Take care :)
August 29, 2008
August 26, 2008
Damage Control
Hello to everyone who actually reads this lol...my birthday weekend went absolutely fabulous and my mom's bday was today so that was another cake filled day. I'm so over cake now!! lol
I need to get my butt into gear. I know I've done some major damage this past week/2 weeks so I need to start losing the weight. I've put a lot of thought into what I'm going to do and I can't believe that I've wasted months on trying to figure out what's best for me. I just need to DO IT!!
With the way that my life is going, I've decided to continue with counting calories to lose weight. No, I don't know how to fit every "good for you" food into every meal, but I do know how to stay within my calorie range. I need to start preparing food for school when I have a night class and I just need to eat small things between meals to satisfy myself.
I really can't believe I've wasted all that freakin time!!
Ok, I remember what I said in one of my first videos when I started YouTube. I wanted to lose all my weight by January of 2009. I started January 1st, 2008.....and what is today?? August 26th, 2008. Time has gone by so fast and what have I got to show for it? NOTHING...well maybe I've kept off 5 lbs so I guess that's an accomplishment :)
But seriously.....I have nothing to show for it so tomorrow is the day where I start over. Completely fresh. Yes, there will be obstacles. Yes, there will be times where I fail. But, I have to keep going or I will never see results.
I'm too used to wanting to lose weight fast from my last diet I was on. It seriously screwed up my mind into thinking that whenever I "diet" I have to lose fast or it's not working. I need to stop thinking this way and just live life. I can't keep worrying about food constantly 24/7. I feel as if it's always on my mind and once I'm done eating one thing, the next order of business is on my mind. It's horrible. Some days are okay if I'm busy. I usually don't think about food when I'm busy because my mind is in tune with what I'm doing. I know once school starts, it'll be like that, but for now, I have to start making the good habit of cutting my calories and try to be healthier.
Since I'll be starting tomorrow, I'm back to my weigh in Wednesdays like I did back when I started in January :) Weigh in Wednesdays work and I'll start tomorrow with a video before work (hopefully) and a weigh in showing my horrible damage :(. Oh well, I have to face it sooner or later. I just know I'll be lighter next week :)
Another thing, I can't keep switching back and forth if I want to do WW or CC because my body has been through enough ya know? I need to pick one and stick with it :) I've realized that I can not do WW because first of all, I think I'll only see results if I go to the meetings and actually get help from them and two, even e-tools is too damn expensive for me to try and get all the resources so I'm not doing WW. If I ever say mention doing it again please slap me!!! lol
CC will work and with the support of my YouTube friends I know I can do this.
Here's to losing weight in 2008!!!! :)
I need to get my butt into gear. I know I've done some major damage this past week/2 weeks so I need to start losing the weight. I've put a lot of thought into what I'm going to do and I can't believe that I've wasted months on trying to figure out what's best for me. I just need to DO IT!!
With the way that my life is going, I've decided to continue with counting calories to lose weight. No, I don't know how to fit every "good for you" food into every meal, but I do know how to stay within my calorie range. I need to start preparing food for school when I have a night class and I just need to eat small things between meals to satisfy myself.
I really can't believe I've wasted all that freakin time!!
Ok, I remember what I said in one of my first videos when I started YouTube. I wanted to lose all my weight by January of 2009. I started January 1st, 2008.....and what is today?? August 26th, 2008. Time has gone by so fast and what have I got to show for it? NOTHING...well maybe I've kept off 5 lbs so I guess that's an accomplishment :)
But seriously.....I have nothing to show for it so tomorrow is the day where I start over. Completely fresh. Yes, there will be obstacles. Yes, there will be times where I fail. But, I have to keep going or I will never see results.
I'm too used to wanting to lose weight fast from my last diet I was on. It seriously screwed up my mind into thinking that whenever I "diet" I have to lose fast or it's not working. I need to stop thinking this way and just live life. I can't keep worrying about food constantly 24/7. I feel as if it's always on my mind and once I'm done eating one thing, the next order of business is on my mind. It's horrible. Some days are okay if I'm busy. I usually don't think about food when I'm busy because my mind is in tune with what I'm doing. I know once school starts, it'll be like that, but for now, I have to start making the good habit of cutting my calories and try to be healthier.
Since I'll be starting tomorrow, I'm back to my weigh in Wednesdays like I did back when I started in January :) Weigh in Wednesdays work and I'll start tomorrow with a video before work (hopefully) and a weigh in showing my horrible damage :(. Oh well, I have to face it sooner or later. I just know I'll be lighter next week :)
Another thing, I can't keep switching back and forth if I want to do WW or CC because my body has been through enough ya know? I need to pick one and stick with it :) I've realized that I can not do WW because first of all, I think I'll only see results if I go to the meetings and actually get help from them and two, even e-tools is too damn expensive for me to try and get all the resources so I'm not doing WW. If I ever say mention doing it again please slap me!!! lol
CC will work and with the support of my YouTube friends I know I can do this.
Here's to losing weight in 2008!!!! :)
August 20, 2008
August 20th
Well, I kind of binged on work food yesterday and I got a Blizzard from the Dairy Queen in the mall. Not a good day yesterday....I felt sick when I got home, but I feel much better today!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHANTI!!!!
Ok, so today I've realized that I want to change my goal weight. I spent a good portion of last night while a game was downloading to look at old pictures and videos of myself when I was about 165ish lbs. I looked so skinny!! When I was doing Weight Watchers, I got all the way down to 158ish and hovered around 165 for like a year. I loved my weight and I was curvy. I still had my boobs lol, and I loved that. When I did Medical Weight Loss Clinic Diet, I got down to 155 lbs and I felt good, but my boobs were getting small (I didn't like that lol) and my shape was getting skinnier. Trust me, I want to be thin, but I don't want to lose my curves.
I've only thought about this overnight and I'm known for changing my mind, but my new goal weight is 160 lbs. According to doctors everywhere and even charts I will still be considered 10 lbs overweight for my height, BUT I will be comfortable in my skin. If I choose to be thinner, I'll go from there, but I've realized that I like my curves. I don't want to obsess about clothing sizes or shirt sizes. I was built to have larger boobs so I will always be in a Large or Extra Large shirt and my hips are larger than most so I have to accept that. I will be happy in size 14 jeans because they will hug my hips and thighs and will make me look beautiful. My face will always be bigger than most because I've always had a chubby jawline, even when I was a child it was the same. I don't want to be stick thin.
My goal weight might be higher than most, but that is my comfortable weight. What is yours?
MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW!!! OMG! :)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHANTI!!!!
Ok, so today I've realized that I want to change my goal weight. I spent a good portion of last night while a game was downloading to look at old pictures and videos of myself when I was about 165ish lbs. I looked so skinny!! When I was doing Weight Watchers, I got all the way down to 158ish and hovered around 165 for like a year. I loved my weight and I was curvy. I still had my boobs lol, and I loved that. When I did Medical Weight Loss Clinic Diet, I got down to 155 lbs and I felt good, but my boobs were getting small (I didn't like that lol) and my shape was getting skinnier. Trust me, I want to be thin, but I don't want to lose my curves.
I've only thought about this overnight and I'm known for changing my mind, but my new goal weight is 160 lbs. According to doctors everywhere and even charts I will still be considered 10 lbs overweight for my height, BUT I will be comfortable in my skin. If I choose to be thinner, I'll go from there, but I've realized that I like my curves. I don't want to obsess about clothing sizes or shirt sizes. I was built to have larger boobs so I will always be in a Large or Extra Large shirt and my hips are larger than most so I have to accept that. I will be happy in size 14 jeans because they will hug my hips and thighs and will make me look beautiful. My face will always be bigger than most because I've always had a chubby jawline, even when I was a child it was the same. I don't want to be stick thin.
My goal weight might be higher than most, but that is my comfortable weight. What is yours?
MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW!!! OMG! :)
August 16, 2008
Feels Good
It feels really good to be back on track. There were multiply times last night when I wanted to say forget this and eat bad. We walked passed the Dairy Queen twice but because none of us had cash on us (cash only place) we didn't get any. I guess that was a plus. We walked back from downtown Ferndale back home to have dinner so I made Chicken Tenders, mashed potatoes, peas, and for dessert I made small bowls of vanilla ice cream, strawberries and chocolate sauce! I surprised Randy with that meal :) I did good!
I stayed within my calories yesterday and it feels awesome. I woke up this morning 2 lbs lighter (water weight) :) and I know I can do it today. I'm gonna be out in the sun mostly and watching the classic cars cruise up and down Woodward. I'm gonna eat lunch before I go and then we'll probably come back home to have dinner before we go out again with my parents. Usually I'll stay downtown Ferndale unless someone else drives north on Woodward because usually it's bumper to bumper slow like less than 5 mph due to sooo many classic cars. I like 13 mile and Woodward because that's where a bunch of bands are and the bars :) If my parents take us up there, then I'll probably walk to the nearest bar and just have fun there lol I'm not sure yet. My parents absolutely hate drinking and are against it and said that I can't drink if front of them. Not even while other family (outside of immediate) members drink at our family gatherings am I allowed to drink...wtf! So, we'll see how today goes :) It's a beautiful day today :)
take care :)
I stayed within my calories yesterday and it feels awesome. I woke up this morning 2 lbs lighter (water weight) :) and I know I can do it today. I'm gonna be out in the sun mostly and watching the classic cars cruise up and down Woodward. I'm gonna eat lunch before I go and then we'll probably come back home to have dinner before we go out again with my parents. Usually I'll stay downtown Ferndale unless someone else drives north on Woodward because usually it's bumper to bumper slow like less than 5 mph due to sooo many classic cars. I like 13 mile and Woodward because that's where a bunch of bands are and the bars :) If my parents take us up there, then I'll probably walk to the nearest bar and just have fun there lol I'm not sure yet. My parents absolutely hate drinking and are against it and said that I can't drink if front of them. Not even while other family (outside of immediate) members drink at our family gatherings am I allowed to drink...wtf! So, we'll see how today goes :) It's a beautiful day today :)
take care :)
August 15, 2008
New Start
Well, since my weigh ins are on Friday's now....I weighed myself today for a whole new fresh start.
I really wasn't trying all week long or the past month so I figured that I need a new goal to get me motivated. I want to be 175 lbs when school starts the last week of September. So, by Friday September 26th, I want to be 175 lbs. As of right now, I'm 184.0 lbs exactly.
I really believe I can achieve this goal by eating healthy, exercising and having foods I love in moderation while portioning them. My exercise is definitely possible because right now I work nights. That means my work schedule is usually from 3-9:15pm...give or take an hour start time and once school starts, I'll be having night classes Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesdays. So, this means that if I start now with an exercise routine to do it in the mornings after breakfast, then I won't have to change that routine once school starts. I think that's a great idea.
My second goal is to be 170 lbs by Halloween. This is doable as well and I'm hoping to achieve it quickly!
Another thing, I was watching a fellow YouTuber and she had this awesome idea to buy a planner, or if you already have one, and put stickers on every day that you stay on plan. She's doing weight watchers so she put a sticker for everyday on plan and a sad face for everyday not on plan. She had more stickers than sad faces so she was doing just fine :) That really inspired me to keep going and actually do this because you are seeing first hand how many days you really are staying on track. It's a mini reward for your long term goal. So, today, while we go to Downtown Ferndale for the Dream Cruise, I'll be stopping by the store for stickers to put in my planner. Most likely, they will go in my school planner once I get my books so I'm so looking forward to that :) Thanks Melissa for the idea :)
Anywho, I'm doing laundry and about to get ready to take a walk downtown with Randy so I have to go. Oh and I'm tracking on Sparkpeople so I stay in line with calories and I've also decided to get rid of my most horrible vice of food.....cheese....so far so good. I had scrambled eggs instead of an omelet so yay for me :)
I really wasn't trying all week long or the past month so I figured that I need a new goal to get me motivated. I want to be 175 lbs when school starts the last week of September. So, by Friday September 26th, I want to be 175 lbs. As of right now, I'm 184.0 lbs exactly.
I really believe I can achieve this goal by eating healthy, exercising and having foods I love in moderation while portioning them. My exercise is definitely possible because right now I work nights. That means my work schedule is usually from 3-9:15pm...give or take an hour start time and once school starts, I'll be having night classes Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesdays. So, this means that if I start now with an exercise routine to do it in the mornings after breakfast, then I won't have to change that routine once school starts. I think that's a great idea.
My second goal is to be 170 lbs by Halloween. This is doable as well and I'm hoping to achieve it quickly!
Another thing, I was watching a fellow YouTuber and she had this awesome idea to buy a planner, or if you already have one, and put stickers on every day that you stay on plan. She's doing weight watchers so she put a sticker for everyday on plan and a sad face for everyday not on plan. She had more stickers than sad faces so she was doing just fine :) That really inspired me to keep going and actually do this because you are seeing first hand how many days you really are staying on track. It's a mini reward for your long term goal. So, today, while we go to Downtown Ferndale for the Dream Cruise, I'll be stopping by the store for stickers to put in my planner. Most likely, they will go in my school planner once I get my books so I'm so looking forward to that :) Thanks Melissa for the idea :)
Anywho, I'm doing laundry and about to get ready to take a walk downtown with Randy so I have to go. Oh and I'm tracking on Sparkpeople so I stay in line with calories and I've also decided to get rid of my most horrible vice of food.....cheese....so far so good. I had scrambled eggs instead of an omelet so yay for me :)
August 13, 2008
Self Control
I desperately need to bring back my self control. I've had it before and then it went away and now I need it back again. I have been slipping back heavily onto my old eating habits and it is putting wear and tear on my body. I feel awful and I am sweating more. Yes, it's hot outside, but damn lol.
I can't keep saying that work is my excuse for eating horribly...I just can't keep doing that! I have to learn to work around the tough things in life and not give in all the time. I really want to lose the weight. It might be that I'm bored with my food options....so I bought a recipe book. It's fabulously designed and I can't wait to make something from it :). This book is going to help me make meals for the week ahead of time so I can just take it out and eat it. I am also reading a new book called Fat Girl. I'm only on Chapter 6, but so far it's good. It's about the author's life of being fat and wanting to be loved and things like that. I need to read more to get into her life...I'm still at the part where it speaks about her parents and how she was growing up fat.
So, I just need to stop eating so much and eat right! I know it's in me and I just need to do it!
I am starting tomorrow! I have to work again tomorrow night but I will not go over my calories....I will not let food overpower me again..............NO MORE!
Gnight
I can't keep saying that work is my excuse for eating horribly...I just can't keep doing that! I have to learn to work around the tough things in life and not give in all the time. I really want to lose the weight. It might be that I'm bored with my food options....so I bought a recipe book. It's fabulously designed and I can't wait to make something from it :). This book is going to help me make meals for the week ahead of time so I can just take it out and eat it. I am also reading a new book called Fat Girl. I'm only on Chapter 6, but so far it's good. It's about the author's life of being fat and wanting to be loved and things like that. I need to read more to get into her life...I'm still at the part where it speaks about her parents and how she was growing up fat.
So, I just need to stop eating so much and eat right! I know it's in me and I just need to do it!
I am starting tomorrow! I have to work again tomorrow night but I will not go over my calories....I will not let food overpower me again..............NO MORE!
Gnight
August 11, 2008
I'm A Failure
I honestly tried today to be good and do well. I worked out, ate well up until work. I had about 1900 calories today minus 400 that I burned on the elliptical so it was okay today, but I still feel like a failure...why do you ask? Because of work! I can't wait until about a month from now when I don't work (go back to school full time and commute from home) and I'll be able to plan accordingly and my school has a microwave for my night classes. My work doesn't have one...stupid work!! So, my goals are still in play, but I really don't see me getting right back on track until school starts. My birthday is coming up and the Dream Cruise is this weekend, so I don't think I'll be okay until September :(
Eh, I feel poopy.
Eh, I feel poopy.
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